While jealousy may be song-lyric gold (we see you Nick Jonas!), it’s not exactly a comfortable feeling to experience in a relationship.
Coming across the “green eyed monster” in a relationship is totally normal … ish. Wondering who your significant other is Snapchatting? Totally fair. However, accusing him/her of cheating with their ex because of it? Absolutely not.
It’s only natural to feel a little jealous when your partner talks to someone attractive. But when those feelings consume you and when you make decisions based on those emotions, problems could arise.
Jealousy is a reaction to a real or perceived threat to a valued relationship. According to Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of 5 Simple Steps To Take Marriage From Good To Great, there are 2 types of jealousy in relationships.
The first: “Reactive jealousy” – is when you become aware of an actual threat to your relationship. This type of jealousy usually happens after your mate has actually deceived you. And yes, almost everyone feels reactive jealousy when they realise that their partner has been unfaithful or is doing something that jeopardises the relationship.
The second one – “Suspicious jealousy” – is the reason you simply can’t resist taking a peak at your partner’s phone when they are in the bathroom. This is all about your own insecurities, inadequacies and low self-esteem.
Lurking behind the paranoia towards our partners are often critical thoughts toward ourselves. What lies at the heart of jealousy very often is not the threat itself, but the drive we have within us to torment ourselves with negative thoughts. Thoughts like: “What does he see in her?” can quickly turn into: “She’s so much prettier/thinner/more successful than me!” And, over time, we become less like the person we are and more like the critical inner voice defining us.
Feelings of uncertainty are natural, however, it’s all about how you deal with it. You can never know for sure that your partner won’t reject you, but if you accuse, demand and punish, you might create a self-fulfilled prophesy.
Source: goalcost.com, cosmopolitan.com, daryahaitoglou.com, womenslifestyle.com, realsimple.com, womenshealthmag.com, elitesingles.com, instyle.com, oprahdaily.com, psychologytoday.com
DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is for educational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you are experiencing symptoms or need health advice, please consult a healthcare professional.